i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
