giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
