You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You took a bar mat shot.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
