The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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