Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
