you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
