I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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