i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
