Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
