how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
