he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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