i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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