Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
