Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize