i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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