There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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