No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
