I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My vagina is officially offended.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
