come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
