I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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