so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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