My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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