Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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