rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
