Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
