You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
