Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
