just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
