Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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