make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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