Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
