Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
