Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my phone needs a breathalizer
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
