He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
