totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
