Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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