She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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