Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
