Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i was born a porn star she said
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I DEMAND FORESKIN
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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