Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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