my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
