i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
