woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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