if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
