I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
