Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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