Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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