Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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