i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
