u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
