I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I love having hate sex.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
