I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize