i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
