Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
