Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
