Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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