No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize