why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
