I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
