How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
