GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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