My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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